the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
