I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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