Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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