I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
