I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
