ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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