May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
