Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
