Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go

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  (248): u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go http://tfl.nu/kj46
  Replies (0) Good night (848) Bad night (1323)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

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  (604): I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary. http://tfl.nu/udpd
  Replies (7) Good night (3881) Bad night (634)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy

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  (863): I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy http://tfl.nu/eb50
  Replies (10) Good night (3744) Bad night (658)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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  (616): he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail". http://tfl.nu/2qss
  Replies (27) Good night (5621) Bad night (1230)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..

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  (410): I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle.. http://tfl.nu/lwyr
  Replies (15) Good night (8594) Bad night (1243)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just the budget?

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  (515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e
  Replies (4) Good night (4628) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly

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  (443): I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly http://tfl.nu/9fzw
  Replies (11) Good night (5842) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.

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  (970): in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door. http://tfl.nu/9co9
  Replies (8) Good night (3488) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

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  (832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf
  Replies (9) Good night (1814) Bad night (1912)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.

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  (425): I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/1sxi
  Replies (13) Good night (3731) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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  (269): P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema. http://tfl.nu/a51s
  Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity

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  (612): So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age (612): Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity http://tfl.nu/l9mx
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

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  (612): Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing" http://tfl.nu/gmpq
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce

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  (254): It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce http://tfl.nu/ukp1
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something

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  (703): If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something http://tfl.nu/ij26
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (405)

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