Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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  (810): nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy http://tfl.nu/15i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (497)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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  (970): i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it... http://tfl.nu/aspw
  Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (2776)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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  (718): Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie. http://tfl.nu/tjzl
  Replies (3) Good night (2139) Bad night (601)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.

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  (610): There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper. http://tfl.nu/5c6l
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (2727)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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  (818): It's like a parade of train wrecks. http://tfl.nu/4fe9
  Replies (22) Good night (867) Bad night (1880)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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  (434): I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents. http://tfl.nu/eibu
  Replies (18) Good night (726) Bad night (5848)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

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  (912): i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day http://tfl.nu/5rbo
  Replies (29) Good night (5796) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3686) Bad night (1137)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

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  (216): So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail http://tfl.nu/m6e0
  Replies (9) Good night (1251) Bad night (3033)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal

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  (251): Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal http://tfl.nu/vqqo
  Replies (12) Good night (2818) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked

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  (902): I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked http://tfl.nu/oens
  Replies (7) Good night (2901) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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  (757): I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you. http://tfl.nu/6wwz
  Replies (5) Good night (1886) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.

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  (203): I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant. http://tfl.nu/7i15
  Replies (6) Good night (1950) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers

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  (573): So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40 (417): I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers http://tfl.nu/ngz4
  Replies (5) Good night (1601) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter

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  (305): to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter http://tfl.nu/2ljl
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (220)

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