i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
