i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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