Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
