I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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