i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go