remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
