This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
