i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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