Umm I'm too high to move.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
