Say something about gay babies.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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