You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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