drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize