He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
