You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
