considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
