But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
