I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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