I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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