Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
