My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
