Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
