She announced her abortion via fbk
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
