She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
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