He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize