so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I sprained my soul last night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am mentally ready for anal.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
