In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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