Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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