$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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