I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize