Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
