i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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