why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
