you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
