id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
