Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
