i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
