Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize