What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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