she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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