i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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