come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
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You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"