Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
