I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
