I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.