Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?