Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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