Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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