i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
